Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yes, I am a mother, and Yes I am Active Duty.

I can't even begin to say how many times I've heard "Oh, you WERE in the miilitary. Did you get out before you were pregnant, or while you were pregnant?" NEITHER! I'm still IN the military. Or how about the lovely "Wow, you're in the military and you have kids. That must be horrible for your kids and for your husband to have his wife stay in. I can't believe you're that selfish! Today was one of those days.

I was with my daughter in WalMart and I was wearing my PT gear. I had two ladies who were probably late 30's early 40's approach me while I was in the baby aisle debating on a carseat for my son. They first commented on how adorable my 5 month old was, however they were taken back when I explained she was really 8 mos old, but I had her premature. And then one lady commented on the PT gear stating how sweet it is that I support my husband. And I told her it was my PT gear, not his. That brought on the whole, oh....how nice. You used to be active duty air force. No ma'am. I AM AD Air Force. "You mean you didn't get out when you found out you were pregnant? How horrible it must be for your family. Especially your daugther. What if you have to go overseas." "Well ma'am both my husband and I are active duty, and we decided that was best for our family! And I have 2 kids, and I've already been overseas. Yes, once was even when my son was 6 mos old." Talk about jaws dropping! "I didn't join the military for the hell of it. I joined because I wanted to. I love what I do and I am proud of what I do, and my kids will understand what their Mommy & Daddy do. They will grow up understanding why we do what we do. My kids will be well versed in the fact that they have 2 avtive duty parents and they will go to school saying "My PARENTS wear combat boots." So, one lady said....I'm glad my daughter decided not to go military. She got pregnant right before she was supposed to leave, and we're so happy. I don't understnad how you could live with your decision. At this point I was flustered. So I responded....a little rude probably, but I didn't care at that point. "Yes ma'am, I am Active Duty. I serve my country and make sacrifices so that you and your daughter can do as you please. You may not like my decision, but my kids will be proud of me, and they will not be ignorant." And I walked away. No carseat, nada. I just walked out of the store a little frustrated.

But, sadly I'm used to this now. I've gotten it from all sorts of people, including my mother in law at one point.

So, let's here it folks....sound off and tell me your opinions. No matter what they be, don't hold back and say what you need to say.

My husband and I know that at the end of the day we made the right decision and we have the support of family and friends that understand why we do what we do. I don't need approval of the state to like my decision. I'm just looking for people to accept. It's not a horrible thing.

Questions, comments? Lemme hear it!


beingzaraandzidan said...

wow nice blog. Great posts..
I am ur newest follower
Plz do visit me & I hope u follow back too

Kathleen said...

My sister is retired Navy and she was a single mom with two children when she had to leave for 6 months to go to Bosnia. We did not look down on her for it and my sister cared for her children when she was gone.

I am proud of what you do and grateful as well. I hope you continue to ignore those who are ignorant. I know what it feels like to be judged for decisions you have made and it is not enjoyable.

Following you from MBC.

Kathleen http://www.lifewith4boys.com