Thursday, June 24, 2010

As the time comes to say goodbye...

So, if any of you have ever been related to the military in anyways, you know that there are certain times a year when goodbyes happen more often than other. Typically around the seasons. Summer is one of them. A big one of them.

It just so happens right now that I know a few of my friends that are getting ready to get out and head back home. :\ I've worked with some of these folks for 4 years, and we've got all these new people coming in, and suddenly I'm finding myself faced without the comfort of the people I've known and worked with for 4 years. It's always sad to say goodbye, but it's the inevitable part of the military life. Sad, but true. The military life takes us in all different directions sometimes, it's a mystery where we'll end up at times. I'm definately going to miss a lot of those familiar faces, those faces you joke with, partied with, laughed with, vented with......

And, for's a time that the resident doctors PCS on to become staff doctors wherever the Air Force sends them. We just so happen to be losing out primary care manager as he was a 3rd year resident this year. We've seen him since he was a 1st year resident! When I found out I was pregnant with Emilyn, I knew that I wanted him to be my OB. I went through leaps and bounds to have him be my OB. I knew I didn't want anyone else, so I had my friend find him for me and ask him personally because I was already "randomly" assigned one like most people. Besides, resident can only have so many pregnant patients being Family Medicine. But, he agreed. He supported me when I wanted a VBAC. He called me and had me personally come so he could explain that things didn't look good on the U\S 20 minutes after I had left radiology! He sent me to receive the extra care and U\S by specialists. He was very honest when I became a high risk patient, and never ever took the slightest risk. He answered his phone while he was on leave when the specialists saw an issue with me to discuss it. When he was away on a retreat and I ended up delivering my daughter emergency prematurely, he called me that night to check on me, came in early the next morning....Let me not forget specifically that the folks at Maternal Fetal Medicine felt I needed to be in the care of someone who was a specialized OB, but I argued with them, and said no, no one else would do my care. I'm 200% confident that if it were not for him and his close attention to detail, my daughter would not have been born as healthy, or she may not have survived at all. He was able to deal with my stubbornness. And then of course everything he has done for my daughter.....walking her in when I couldn't get an appointment with him, he was on top of everything!!! And he never got frustrated with my C-Section healing slowly!!! And he even made a "house call" for JayJay. He gave me advice from a doctors standpoint, and as a parent as well. Something most people don't do. He was absolutely amazing, and a one of a kind doctor. He made a huge impact on my family's life, and we'll never forget everything he's done for us. Definately sad to see him leave. When my kids and I had our final appointment with him, I cried. But, I took the time to write him a thank you letter and card to let him know how appreciated he is. And he took the time to email me and say THank You. He took the time to let me know that it meant a lot to him. How many people will do that?

I guess that's the life of the military though...goodbyes become a part of the routine, but they never seem to get easier. However, some people leave footprints in our hearts that we will cherish forever.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Base experience!

So, we finally bit the bullet and decided to move on base. After living off base for 4 years and renting, we decided that with 2 kids.....we needed somewhere that a year from now the owners don't turn around and tell us they need to move back because their other home is foreclosing, or that they have decided to sell because they can now make money....or for whatever other reason. Most leases around here are eithe 6mos or 1yr. Some let you extend after that time frame, and well others don't. Moving is always a pain in the rear to begin with. Packing, unpacking....blah blah blah. So, since living on base in now privatized, it's almost like renting, which means that they'll take my BAH and my husband gets to keep his! Plus there's not paying for electricity or water.....BONUS! So we're pocketing all my husbands BAH, worth it! And not to mention that the new houses on base are nice.

But, moving on base also takes some getting used to. We used to have a 4 bedroom house, and now we only have a 3 bedroom, and since the house we're actually moving into isn't finished yet we're in a temporary one...which is quite cramped. And let me tell you it is absolutely beyond frustrating, especially since we're not all the way unpacked. Things are still everywhere and I feel like everything is in the way. With 2 kids and a husband, in a small 3's cramped beyond belief. I can't go anywhere to get time to myself.

Not to mention the husband and I have been fighting absolutely nonstop lately. Mostly it's about stupid stuff anyways....about not doing something the way it was supposed to, about not taking my my advice every so often. I feel like he does an amazing job at making me feel like a complete idiot.

I feel like my stress level is through the roof lately and I need a fresh start! I'm thinking haircut/highlights since I got these new clothes to boost self confidence....not that my husband notices. :(

Otherwise, my supervisor comes back off leave this Monday! FINALLY! It was a long 2 weeks without her trying to do everything myself. I really felt like I was running around like a chicken with no head. Pretest for this person here, need to make a new pretest here. EOC here, staff slides there, training notes there.....and the list goes on....for a flight of over 200 people. And of course certain parts of management don't think I can do the job....which just makes me feel like a complete failure or idiot....I can't decide. I know I know my job, I just wish people would give me some credit. It's not like the TSgt actually does the training notes, or updates certain things...I do! But, who gets the sure as hell isn't me. I'm lucky if I can even get a hello, how are you when passing in the hall... Oh the beauty the is all politics.

I guess I'll end it on that note.

Happy fathers day out there to all the dads, even though it's mainly mommys reading this....and happy fathers day to those single mommies who do it all alone.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yes, I am a mother, and Yes I am Active Duty.

I can't even begin to say how many times I've heard "Oh, you WERE in the miilitary. Did you get out before you were pregnant, or while you were pregnant?" NEITHER! I'm still IN the military. Or how about the lovely "Wow, you're in the military and you have kids. That must be horrible for your kids and for your husband to have his wife stay in. I can't believe you're that selfish! Today was one of those days.

I was with my daughter in WalMart and I was wearing my PT gear. I had two ladies who were probably late 30's early 40's approach me while I was in the baby aisle debating on a carseat for my son. They first commented on how adorable my 5 month old was, however they were taken back when I explained she was really 8 mos old, but I had her premature. And then one lady commented on the PT gear stating how sweet it is that I support my husband. And I told her it was my PT gear, not his. That brought on the whole, nice. You used to be active duty air force. No ma'am. I AM AD Air Force. "You mean you didn't get out when you found out you were pregnant? How horrible it must be for your family. Especially your daugther. What if you have to go overseas." "Well ma'am both my husband and I are active duty, and we decided that was best for our family! And I have 2 kids, and I've already been overseas. Yes, once was even when my son was 6 mos old." Talk about jaws dropping! "I didn't join the military for the hell of it. I joined because I wanted to. I love what I do and I am proud of what I do, and my kids will understand what their Mommy & Daddy do. They will grow up understanding why we do what we do. My kids will be well versed in the fact that they have 2 avtive duty parents and they will go to school saying "My PARENTS wear combat boots." So, one lady said....I'm glad my daughter decided not to go military. She got pregnant right before she was supposed to leave, and we're so happy. I don't understnad how you could live with your decision. At this point I was flustered. So I responded....a little rude probably, but I didn't care at that point. "Yes ma'am, I am Active Duty. I serve my country and make sacrifices so that you and your daughter can do as you please. You may not like my decision, but my kids will be proud of me, and they will not be ignorant." And I walked away. No carseat, nada. I just walked out of the store a little frustrated.

But, sadly I'm used to this now. I've gotten it from all sorts of people, including my mother in law at one point.

So, let's here it folks....sound off and tell me your opinions. No matter what they be, don't hold back and say what you need to say.

My husband and I know that at the end of the day we made the right decision and we have the support of family and friends that understand why we do what we do. I don't need approval of the state to like my decision. I'm just looking for people to accept. It's not a horrible thing.

Questions, comments? Lemme hear it!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Is a puppy in our future?

So, this weekend is almost over. Just waiting for my Sunday show to come on, and then it'll be time to hit the hay. Oh, well I have to find my blues too. :\ We're not 100% unpacked since we moved on base and I haven't been able to find them. I know they are here, but where? Eeeek.

Saturday John wasn't feeling well. I took the kids to the Galleria in Roseville and did some shopping. I even managed to get some clothes for myself! I was STOKED! I got 4 pairs of shorts and 4 tops. They had an anchor blue, and the clothes fit, nicely! Ever since I had Emilynn I've been so body concious. I've felt so ugly. Not to mention the recovery from the CSection has been hell this time. But, I'm trying my best to make improvements to make myself feel better about myself. But, it's hard when you don't ever hear any positive feedback.

Today my husband found a lost puppy. We tried to call the number on its tags, but the number wasn't in service anymore. Tomorrow John will take it to the vet to see if it has a chip....and we'll see if we can find its owners...but now we're gonna have to find a puppy. My son has fallen in love. Everything is puppy this, puppy that. I really want a jack russell. Ever since I moved out of my dads I've wanted one. I miss having Lilo all the time. Of course the husband doesn't want a jack russell. We do however agree that we want a small dog.

Army Wives is on.....yay! So I guess I will end this on that note.

Quick info about me.

I'm 24 years old, and active duty military. I have 2 kids, Jayden & Emilynn. Jayden will be 3 and Emilyn will be a year. They are the most amazing kids in the world.

I've been in the Air Force (active duty) for almost 5 years, and I love every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, sometimes work is frustrating, and I don't always like my management....but I love love love being in the military.

My daughter was born premature, and she is my miracle baby. The day she was born I was at less than 2 on the Amniotic Fluid index. One more day pregnant, and she might not have survived. I am eternally greatful for the two doctors I had during my entire pregnancy.

I think that's just about the basics... just a quick intro of me. It may or may not be relevant in understanding things later on.